Runner Vs. Nature: The Rain

The 2018 Brooklyn Half, and a different side of Los Angeles

In May of 2018 I was set to run the Brooklyn Half Marathon. But three days before the race I looked at the weather app and realized that Sunday was going to be absolutely disgusting. 100% chance of rain, starting Saturday night and going straight through the morning, into the 7 AM start time. And that knowledge, knowing there was going to be rain, became my sole focus for 72 hours.

Of course, I’ve run in the rain before. And it’s never a big deal. When I lived in New York it happened all the time. I’d leave the apartment with the sun shining, and then twenty minutes later the sky would be full of clouds that could only be described as Apocalypse Black, and the skies would open up and turn me into something akin to a river rat.

But that was always spontaneous. What are you going to do?! It started to rain! One of life’s little romantic moments! But when you know there’s going to be rain, something inside of you changes. You need to beat it. You need to strategize. Like if you do enough planning you can actually trick God and stay completely dry.

Ellen and me at the start line of the 2018 Brooklyn Half.

Training for the Brooklyn Half began months earlier. Planning for the rain began in earnest on Friday at my office. The whole writing staff of The Chris Gethard Show stopped what we were doing and tried to tackle “The Rain.”

Here were the problems as we saw it:

1. Getting to the race was going to be a problem. It’s New York, so getting there needed to be a healthy mix of public transit and walking. And in the rain? That was gonna be tough.

2. There was also going to be at least thirty minutes of just standing in a corral before the race started. No cover. Just cattle sitting in the rain. Packed in tight, which basically negated umbrellas. And it also negated a change of clothes, because you couldn’t just do that in the middle of Eastern Parkway.

3. The shoes. That was the most important part. It was universally acknowledged that once the race started, you would get wet. Whether by rain or by sweat. But you couldn’t start a race with soaked shoes. All focus was on the shoes.

The solution? Plastic bags on the shoes. Nothing complicated. Just some bags from the bodega. It was genius. Ellen and I tied them over our shoes, and we walked and slipped on the way to the start line, but it was full proof. We beat the rain!

One minute before the starter pistol we chucked the shoe covers, and started running. We had trained for this, and we had tricked God. Nothing could stop me now.

But nature works in mysterious ways (actually not really in this case since the mystery was “rain causes puddles”). It was only .2 miles from the start line, the first turn, a puddle maybe 2 to 3 inches deep, that snuck up on everyone. There was no avoiding it. And instantly, it was all for naught.

When you run in the rain you can sometimes forget what’s happening. After all, you’re hot and sweaty, it’s actually kind of refreshing. But it’s a distinctly bad feeling when your socks get soaked. You can feel it. The soak. Every square inch. And it’s ice cold. It reminds you that you could be sitting at home, watching Prince Harry marry Meghan Markle (that happened that same morning!).

But rain happens. And when you finally give in, you realize everyone else is in the exact same boat. I looked at the stranger next to me and we made eye contact, and we laughed. Fuck it. Let’s get sloppy. 12.9 miles to go.

Did you know it rained this week?!

If you live in Los Angeles, you know it rained this week. And if you don’t live in LA you know it rained this week because every Angeleno couldn’t shut up about it.

I used to make fun of Angelenos about the rain thing before I moved here. I mean, I lived in Seattle and New York. Yeah! We get it! It rained! That’s the second most common type of weather, guys! But being here, I get it. Rain changes this city.

And not just in the ways you think. Sure the stores are more empty and no one knows how to drive when there’s a bit of water on the road, but it also changes in ways that almost seem supernatural… like you’re living in a dream version of Los Angeles. An upside down. A Narnia almost. And when you force yourself to go for a run in the downpour, you can see a side of this city no one ever talks about.

It smells different. Raging rivers just spontaneously form, both on ill-designed roads and in the dry aqueducts you always assumed were hiking trails. And wildlife you’ve never seen before just starts showing up. Did you know there are crawfish living in Los Angeles? They’re everywhere! Just crawling out of the lake in Echo Park and all around the LA River. It feels magical. Almost biblical. Both good and bad.

On my Sunday morning long run with Don, we went up and down the LA River, and we saw four little crawdads in a row. Their little claws reaching to the skies almost to thank the gods for the rare gift of LA rain. In times like that, it feels great to run in the rain. And I don’t remember why I would ever try to avoid it.

Then I stepped in a puddle with only half a mile to go. Oh right. That’s why.

Last Week’s Runs.

Tuesday 11/11 - 3.11 Miles, 9:25/Mile
I’m still nursing my ankle back from last weeks flare up, and it’s feeling great. At about two miles it started getting a little sore again, so I slowed my pace down for about two minutes, it was enough to right things again. Plenty of stretching afterwards.

Thursday 11/13 - 3.12 Miles, 9:30/Mile
My ankle finally feeling mostly normal again. Three loops around Echo Park plus a tail to hit the 5K. There’s nothing like an injury that makes you realize how much you love this. I’ve had a few Marc Maron’s saved that I haven’t listened to yet, I’m almost saving them. Listening to Maron was a big part of my early running days. This was the second to last one I hadn’t heard… Judd Apatow playing his favorite clips for Marc. Matt Groening is the last one saved on my phone… and I don’t know if I’ll listen to it that fast. I need to find some more stuff to subscribe to so my podcast regimen isn’t 80% Fantasy Football shows.

Sunday 11/16 - 7.01 Miles, 10:02/Mile
The weekly long run in the pouring rain. Ankle felt great the whole time, UNTIL I stepped in that damn puddle right before the end, and then it starting feeling sore in the way I assume an old man’s knee is sore right before he says: “Gonna rain tomorrow I reckon.” In any case, stretched it hard when I got home, resting on Monday. Feeling strong enough to take this week at a normal clip again.